Synful Dreams [Syn’s Playground] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove) Read online

  A soft kiss was placed on the tip of his ear, followed by teeth sinking into the fleshy lobe. The sting was delicious, but not nearly enough. Only the knowledge that Syn would delay the flogging if PJ tried to hurry up, kept him still in his restraints as he waited for Syn to begin.

  It was torture. One that nearly had PJ crying out for reassurance. But, as if Syn already knew exactly what he was feeling, a pinch was given to PJ’s left ass cheek. “Good boy,” Syn told him, and instantly all was right in the world.

  He heard Syn walk over to the cabinet that held many of their toys. PJ prayed he’d pick the crop. There was something about the sharp sting the leather provided that settled PJ’s mind.

  “First, we’ll get your punishment out of the way,” Syn told him as his hand once more landed on his ass, massaging the muscle. “Ten swats with the paddle.”

  A moan of dismay slid from PJ’s mouth. He couldn’t help it. He hated the paddle. The thud against his body wasn’t what he wanted. He should have known Syn wouldn’t use the crop when he was being punished.

  “What was that, boy?” There was a hint of laughter in Syn’s voice that told PJ, his master knew exactly why he’d made the sound of disappointment.

  “Nothing, Sir,” PJ told him.

  Teeth sank into the right side of his ass and PJ had to stop himself from coming right then. It wouldn’t do to orgasm before Syn said he could. He’d only end up getting more than ten swats with the paddle.

  PJ’s hands clenched into fists when Syn soothed the sting of his teeth with his tongue. He wasn’t going to be able to hold back from coming if Syn kept this up. As far as PJ was concerned, there was nothing better than Syn’s hands and mouth on his body.

  Then that mouth was gone and he heard Syn say, “Make sure to count, boy.”

  It was all the warning he got before the flat wood surface of the paddle landed on his ass. The heavy thud settled into PJ, easing back the orgasm that had threatened to consume him a few moments ago.

  “One, Sir,” PJ said.

  By the fifth swat, heat spread out over his skin. On the eighth one, that heat turned to fire and he was sure his ass was turning a dark shade of red. Tears stung PJ’s eyes. He hated disappointing Syn by doing something he wasn’t supposed to.

  “Ten, Sir,” he said on a sob. “I’m sorry, Sir.” He couldn’t stop the crying. Nothing hurt him more than knowing he wasn’t the best sub. Syn deserved so much better. “I promise I’ll do better.”

  It took mere seconds for the restraints to be released and Syn to gather him up into his arms. “Shh, my little love. You are perfect just the way you are.”

  Kisses were rained over his face and neck as Syn took him across the hall to their bedroom and laid them down on the bed. “I love every part of you, PJ. There is nothing you could do to change that.”

  PJ’s arms wrapped around Syn, desperate to get as close as possible. “I love you, too.” There were times PJ was sure he wouldn’t survive if he didn’t have Syn in his life.

  The sweet kisses Syn was giving him changed. Firm lips sealed over his, claiming him. It was one of the things he loved about Syn. Everything Syn did, even something simple as a kiss, showed PJ just how much Syn loved him.

  When Syn pushed his tongue into his mouth, PJ sucked on the appendage. His arms were stretched up above his head and thick leather restraints were snapped into place. Syn’s hands roamed over his body, caressing and pinching as they made their way down his arms to his chest.

  One nipple was flicked with Syn’s fingernail, while the other was twisted until PJ arched up into the touch, crying out for more and breaking the breath-stealing kiss. It didn’t seem to faze Syn as his mouth created its own path down PJ’s neck.

  Teeth scraped along the corded muscle at the same time Syn’s fingers pinched his nipples. PJ’s body was on fire from the sensory overload. His prick throbbed, begging for attention it was currently being denied. As if he could actually hear PJ’s dick cry out, Syn placed a thick thigh between PJ’s legs, pressing into his aching cock.

  That driving need to come was there again and this time PJ wasn’t sure he was going to be able to hold back. “Master, please, help me,” he cried out, afraid to once more disappoint Syn by coming too soon.

  A hand was suddenly there, tugging on his balls. The sharp pain helped to drive back his orgasm but PJ knew he was still too close. He was going to need more help if he had any hope of not coming.

  “I’ve got you, boy,” Syn said, even as two slick fingers drove into his ass. Firm lips took his in a hard, but brief kiss. “I’m so proud of you.”

  Syn’s words were like a balm to his soul, allowing PJ to gain control of himself, at least for a few more minutes while Syn stretched him. Knowing he pleased his Master was something PJ never tired of hearing. It was important that he make Syn happy, for PJ didn’t want to think about a world without Syn in it.

  “You ready, boy?” Syn asked when he slid another finger into his channel.

  PJ didn’t hesitate to lie. “Yes.” With how big Syn was, PJ knew he would need to be stretched further, but the burn would only make things better as far as he was concerned.

  The next thing he knew, Syn’s fingers were gone and the tip of Syn’s cock was pushing against his entrance. PJ pushed out and his muscles relaxed enough to let Syn slide in.

  PJ blew out a hard breath at the burn from being completely filled. It was far more intense than he’d been ready for, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. Having Syn inside of him, feeling every amazing inch, was all that mattered.

  “You do that again, boy, and I’m going to have to punish you in a way you won’t like.” Syn’s voice was hard and unforgiving as he stared down at PJ. “Only I can cause you pain. I will not allow you to hurt yourself, understand?”

  It wasn’t a request but a demand. One that PJ wasn’t stupid enough to deny. “Yes, Sir. I was just too impatient.”

  “That’s not a good enough reason to cause yourself harm.” Syn might be right, but it was hard for PJ to actually be sorry when the burn felt so damn good.

  “I’m sorry, Sir.” PJ made sure to sound more contrite than he actually was. “But I swear, I’m fine.”

  The look in Syn’s eyes said he didn’t care. “That wasn’t the point, boy. You could have been injured and I won’t allow that to happen because you were reckless.”

  He knew Syn was right, but at the moment, PJ just didn’t care. His body was on fire with the need to come, and he feared if Syn didn’t start moving soon, PJ would end up doing or saying something that would get him into even more trouble. “I promise not to do it again, Sir.”

  Syn eyed him for a moment longer. He wasn’t sure if Syn really believed him or if his Master was just as on edge as PJ was, but either way, PJ sighed in relief when Syn started moving. The slow thrusts were driving him insane as he wanted to feel Syn fuck him hard, but he wasn’t about to say anything only to have Syn stop just to prove a point.

  PJ got that Syn was in control, he even preferred it. But there were times, like right now, when he wished he could lead things. He clenched his hands around the restraints, praying he’d survive this night without earning even more punishment than he was sure he was already going to get for allowing Syn to believe he was open enough for sex.

  But when Syn seemed to refuse to go any faster, PJ couldn’t hold back the words that bubbled up from within. “Harder, Syn. Please. I need to feel you.”

  Those brown eyes stared right into PJ as if Syn could see right into PJ’s soul. The slight upturn of his lips told PJ his master knew exactly what he was doing. “Patience, boy.”

  But PJ didn’t have any. He’d been on edge too long to be able to wait any longer. Clenching the muscles of his channel, he clamped down hard on Syn’s cock.

  PJ moaned when he felt the sharp sting of Syn’s hand against his hip. “Boy, you are begging for another punishment.”

  Up until that moment, PJ would have denied Syn’s statement. But th
en he clenched his muscles again and PJ knew any punishment would be more than worth feeling Syn fuck him through the mattress.

  “Damn, boy,” Syn groaned as he sped up his thrusts.

  Happy to finally get what he wanted, PJ clenched those muscles again. He needed too badly to wait any longer. What he hadn’t expected was Syn pulling out and jumping from the bed.

  PJ cried out as he watched Syn race across the hall. When he came back with a cock ring, PJ realized his mistake of pushing too much.

  “Hopefully this will make you obey me next time.” Syn put the ring on PJ, then thrust back inside of him.

  PJ was finally getting what he wanted as Syn slammed into him over and over again. But with the cock ring on, there was little chance he was going to fully enjoy it, for he wouldn’t be able to come.

  Syn slammed into him one more time, then froze. Heat filled PJ’s channel as Syn filled him with his seed. PJ wanted to weep at being denied his own orgasm, but at least he had a part of Syn within his body.

  They had decided six months ago to get tested so they could do without the condoms. It had been a big step, but one PJ had never once regretted, especially when Syn put a plug in afterward. He loved knowing a part of Syn was inside of him even when they were in class.

  Syn’s body dropped onto PJ’s, the heavy weight comforting when his body was still wound tight with need. Syn removed the leather restraints and rubbed his wrists to be sure there was no damage. Then he kissed the inside of PJ’s wrists gently.

  Tears started to roll down PJ’s face as Syn gathered him into his arms and held him close. “I know you don’t think this is fair, but you knew the consequences for topping from the bottom.”

  PJ did, but he hadn’t thought Syn would actually enforce the rule. Firm hands caressed his body, from neck to ass, helping to calm PJ. Yet, the tears continued to stream down his face. PJ wasn’t sure they would ever stop when he’d once more been a disappointment. He’d just promised himself to be a good sub, yet not even ten minutes later, he was once more getting punished.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered into Syn’s neck where he’d buried his head.

  A soft kiss was placed against his head. “I’m not,” Syn told him. “I told you before. I love everything about you, my little love. Even when you push. Never forget that.”

  It wasn’t the first time Syn had told him that. Feeling a bit better, PJ relaxed into Syn’s arms, knowing he was safe there. He might not have been able to come, but suddenly that didn’t matter nearly as much as knowing Syn loved him no matter what.

  Chapter Three

  Music pulsed from the speakers as PJ shook his ass around the small house he and Syn rented near the campus, cleaning. Housework wasn’t his favorite thing to do, in fact, he hated it. Then again, so did Syn.

  Shortly after moving in together they had discovered just how quickly they could make a mess of their home with both of them not picking up after themselves. As PJ’s Dom, Syn could have insisted PJ take care of the house, but that wasn’t the kind of relationship either of them wanted.

  It was important for them to feel as if they were equals. Syn might be in charge during a scene, but in every other aspect of their lives, they talked things through and came to agreements both of them could live with.

  When it came to cleaning, each of them would take a week, rotating back and forth, that way they would get a break every other week from something they hated. Unfortunately, this week was PJ’s week and he’d let things go for three full days, and the place looked like a tornado had hit it.

  The music helped to make the time go by faster, but it wasn’t fast enough in PJ’s opinion. It was times like these that he wished he had the power to snap his fingers like Mary Poppins, and the mess would put itself away. At least he was almost done.

  That might be the only good thing about the extremely small apartment they had leased in New York, it wouldn’t take more than an hour to clean. Both he and Syn had been in for a rude awakening when they’d arrived in New York to meet with a realtor. Their budget only allowed for them to rent what amounted to a glorified closet.

  The bathroom was so tiny Syn barely fit in the shower. It would mean no more showering together, and the baths PJ enjoyed after an especially intense scene wouldn’t happen, but they would be together. And once PJ was able to get a job, they might be able to afford something a little bigger.

  Just over the loud pounding of the music PJ heard the shrill ring of the phone. Syn should be getting out of his last exam right about now. Racing across the room to the iPod speakers, he turned the music off and grabbed the phone off the kitchen table where he’d left it. “So how was it?” he asked, assuming it was Syn.

  “Uh, is there a Patrick James Graver there?” a male voice asked.

  “Oops, sorry,” PJ said. “I thought you were someone else. This is PJ. How can I help you?” he asked much more formally, hoping it was someone requesting an interview. He’d sent out several resumes but hadn’t heard anything as of yet. He was starting to worry he wouldn’t find a job, but Syn’s assurance that he was too talented not to receive an offer had helped to ease some of his concern.

  “This is Sheriff Wilson of Jefferson County, Iowa,” the man said.

  PJ’s heart sped up and his throat went dry. “What happened? Is my family okay?” he managed to force out.

  There was a pause that seemed to last forever, even though it probably wasn’t more than a few seconds. “I regret to inform you that your parents, Jonah and Sarah Graver were in a car accident.”

  No!

  PJ’s mind screamed for this to be some kind of horrible dream, but he knew that wasn’t the case. “Are they going to be okay?” Even as he asked, PJ prayed the sheriff wouldn’t tell PJ what he somehow knew was true. His parents were dead.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Graver, but your parents didn’t survive,” the sheriff said. A neighbor of yours has agreed to keep your sister and brother until you can get here.”

  “Are they okay? Were Jennifer or Daniel in the accident?” Panic was seizing PJ as his heart cried out for his parents. They were supposed to come up for his graduation in a week. Now he’d never see them again.

  “They were not involved in the accident,” the sheriff assured him. Then he gave PJ the number of the neighbor, which PJ had, although he had to admit to being grateful the sheriff gave it to him as he wasn’t sure his mind was able to function well enough to find his phone book.

  Sheriff Wilson also gave him the number of his station in case he needed to contact them. Absently, he heard the phone go dead, but for the life of him, PJ couldn’t remember if he’d said good-bye or even thanked the sheriff for calling him. As that thought popped into his head, PJ wasn’t sure thanking the man was appropriate either. Why would he thank a man who just told him he’d lost two of the most important people in his life?

  Overwhelming grief surged inside of him, leaving PJ unable to stand. He just dropped to the floor and curled into a ball. How was he supposed to survive without them? They were his rock. The ones he turned to when life became too chaotic and confusing.

  Cold, he wrapped his arms around his legs and pulled them tight to his chest. His body shook, sure he’d never get warm again.

  “PJ.”

  There was a hard, unyielding tone to the voice that had PJ desperately wanting to respond, but he just couldn’t. He wasn’t sure he knew how at this point.

  Weightless, PJ was lifted into air and then he was pressed against a hard surface that emitted heat. Curling closer to that warmth, PJ felt it seep inside of him.

  “Come on, little one,” a soft voice crooned. “Come back to me.”

  A part of PJ wanted to do just that, but a bigger portion wanted to remain hidden where he didn’t have to face the reality that he’d lost his parents. It was too hard.

  PJ knew he was being selfish, especially when his brother and sister would be having a much harder time, but he couldn’t help it. He still needed his parents. He wa
s about to embark on a scary new world in a city that was much bigger and harsher than anything he’d ever experienced before.

  Not to mention, being even more committed to a man who, at times, scared PJ. He loved Syn, loved their life together, but sometimes he thought the intensity with which Syn loved him might just take PJ over. It would be so easy to lose himself to Syn’s demands, but PJ didn’t want that. He needed to be his own man, not just Syn’s sub.

  His parents were the ones who helped to ground him, keep him above water instead of sinking into a life that potentially would take all of PJ’s independence and self-worth. Not that Syn would do that intentionally, but they were both still so young, PJ feared it would happen if they weren’t careful.

  Without his parents, who was going to stop PJ from losing himself completely?

  “Please, PJ. Talk to me.” The worry and fear he could hear in Syn’s voice managed to pull PJ out of the fog he was in enough to speak.

  “My parents are dead.” His voice was stiff, remote as he spoke. “There was a car accident and they didn’t survive.”

  “Oh, my little love, I’m so sorry.” Syn wrapped his arms tighter around PJ as he held him, kissing the top of his head. “I’m right here.”

  Just knowing there was someone there to catch him when he fell, the tears he’d been unable to shed, fell. One after another they came until he was sobbing uncontrollably.

  * * * *

  PJ didn’t think anything would ever be as hard as watching his parents being lowered into the ground. He stood there with Syn on one side of him, an arm wrapped around PJ’s waist to stop him from sinking into the ground right along with his parents.

  On the other side of PJ was his brother and sister. The two people he was now responsible for. As he sat in the office of his parents’ lawyer the day after he’d buried them, PJ wanted to scream at life. He wasn’t ready to take on his siblings. To raise them. To essentially be their parent.